Night Owl 6/Night Owl's Shareware - PDSI-006 - Night Owl Corp (1990).iso/025a/hello10.zip/FORTUNE.RSM

Text File | 1991-09-12 | 6KB | 98 lines

The best way to eat crackers is alone.
You will meet a beautiful personality today.
The road to nowhere is just left of somewhere.
Today is your day for money! Good luck!
It's a stormy day in your mind. Bring an umbrella.
God, your lucky the screen isn't a mirror!
Have you been eating cats? Something fuzzy is hanging... Oh, never mind.
If something itches today, don't forget to scratch.
Sit a little closer to the keyboard. I won't byte.
Don't forget to water the fish today.
W.C. Fields once said: "Never drink water, fish pee in it."
Reason deceives us; concious, never.
Could you get me a megabyte or two on your way out today?
The past should be a springboard, not a hammock.
Among the country's surpluses are wheat, corn, cotton and calories.
If yer a girl, jerk your ear for good luck. If yer a guy... Well, good luck!!!
A bad situation that drifts away always gets worse.
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Talent is a flame, genius is a fire.
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
Don't forget your shoes this time.
Remember, opposites attract! Positively! Don't be so negative!
Could you clean my screen today?
May your toothpaste never get crusty around the lid!
May the borce befifth you!
If only I had legs... I'd kick you right in the eye. Is it Friday yet?
Well... Accidents do happen. Don't blame yourself.
Do you believe in love? If so... What the HELL are you doing here???
Just remember. Wherever you go, there you are.   ---Buckaroo Banzai
My other computer is an Atari ST.
I'd rather be in Montana.
Sigh... It's a sad day. Did you know my life expectancy is about five years?
Humans. Hmm. You're not all that. Bet ya I can run faster than you!
You have poolstick chalk on your cheek. But I still love ya!
Don't you just hate people that quote all of the time.
Today, I'm turning a new leaf! No more lies. I'm really a 64k Commodore.
My lifetime insurance expires today. What else can go wrong?
Donnie from the New Kids called. He said he left his boxers in your bathroom.
Don't forget! Oprah! You can't miss it this time! Women without toungues!!!
Geraldo. Is his nose fixed yet? It still looks crooked!
I was sleeping. Do you mind? What are REALLY gonna do anyway?
Okay, one plug... Russ Merritt 1734 Dunn Swamp Road, Pocomoke, MD 21851
I fell over your dog in the hallway last night. I don't think he'll make it.
And just WHERE have you been all this time?!? I've been worried sick!!!
Remove the disk! How would you like to wake up with a book in your ear????
My hard drive is kinda soft right now, would you mind?
A couple that swims together is a fight that hasn't started yet.
I wish you all the luck in the world today! You'll need it!
If your boss spits on you again, I say you lick his coffee cup.
Do you have bathrooms where you work? You're looking kind of pale these days.
You've been just dying to eat that cake and milk. Well I unplugged the fridge!
Where the hell is Waldo anyway?
I spy with my little eye something beginning with B... BUM!!!
Ot! Ot! Lick your fingers before typing!
This is the kind of day when ya just want to beat the rug!
You will find an old lady in need of dire assistance!
Can I be honest? You have the sexiest fingers I've ever seen. I love you.
You're getting married today to an Alaskan snow blower.
My drive is grinding. You're not much better. I heard all those cracks!
Life was so much simpler in the warehouse. I had friends there.
There's a hole in your engine block. I didn't want to wake you.
I've been looking through my hard drive and there's not a game worth playing!
Quotes...Quotes....Quotes... I'm running low. Why don't you add some?
George Bush is really getting popular. His wife is already on the $1 bill.
Are you still in school? Believe me, take computer programming. You need it!
There is a Guru outside your door. Ask him about the lottery.
You can tell me all you want, but I think Ronald McDonald is really a woman.
I'm sorry if I ever insulted you. It's my only defense. I have no arms!
I'm honored that you've decided to use me today. I'm here to serve.
Why don't we turn the lights out and get out of these silly personas?
What's another word for thesaurus?      ---Steven Wright
There's a fine line between hairloss and breaking up with a girlfriend.
The FBI called, they want to come play some cool pirated games...
Buy me a car. Not a big car. Just something besides this BUS.
Programming and aerobics are the same really. In neither do you get exercise.
Today is just tomorrow yesterday.
Life could be worse. Your computer could get stolen for example...
486, schmorbatynix. I can still outrun that dog gone whipper snapper!
I think your printer is on the fritz. All it prints are Madonna lyrics.
Look, I have nothing to do with that printer! He's just connected physically!
Your keys just don't have that click any more since the marshmallow candy...
I see a strong relationship in your near future. Tomorrow maybe?
You have the right to bear arms or the right to arm bears.  ---Robin Williams
The only truth in knowledge is knowing that Bo knows too damn much!
Really, get me a new speaker. I'm so sick of these beeps and blips!
You can only dig your hole six feet until the dirt comes back on top. ---ST
Did you ever wonder why Andy Rooney still has a job?
Everyone has a heart of steel, they just sometimes let it get a little rusty.
Watch your weight today. It's really interesting to see stomaches swell.
Bats in your belfrey, bugs in your BUS, it's just not your day.
I had to shoot your dog last night. The shoe, iron pan and sofa didn't work.
Sing to me. Really. Sing to me. Gimmie some Ole' Blue Eyes. Cummon, please...
To love someone is to wear transparent blinders.
If you love something let it free. If it comes back it's yours...
If there really is a heaven, then where are the bathrooms up there? ---Lil Sis
What can I say? I have a loss for words. I just won't say anything.
Always feel free to add your own stuff. God knows, I've strained my skull.